What the hell...

I don't understand why people want you to be honest with them, when they obviously can't handle it! I am the most honest person you will ever meet! If you piss me off, I will tell you. If you act like you are better than me, I will treat you like you don't even exist. I don't have time to kiss anybody's ass to make them happy. I'm sorry if you're apart of my family and you just assume that because of that I have to devote my time and energy into making you happy. There is a difference in being family and being friends. I look at like this....you're apart of my family and I will be nice and social to you when you are around, that doesn't mean I have to like you or tolerate rude behavior. When you are my friend(my friend can definitely be a family member) I want to hang out with you even if there is no family get together. That means that you are fun to hang out with, I can talk to, and you treat me as an equal!



People should understand that I am a BITCH and very proud that I don't let people walk all over me. I don't sugar coat anything and tell it like it is. I am also a grudge holder and if you really piss me off, you are pretty much non existant to me unless I HAVE to see you. (Family get togethers) I will not hang out or talk to these kind of people on my own time! There is enough stress in life without people trying to bring their drama!!

What should I do?

Well I am basically falling apart ever since I took this job and am taking care of 2 extra kids. I am honestly depressed about this whole situation. So let me just run down my day. I wake up at 6am to get to work by 7am. I work 8 hours, then its off to my SIL Jenn's house to pick up my niece and nephew. I get home around 5:30pm, get dinner going or picked up, find time to get the laundry done, dishes done, clean the bathrooms, and whatever else needs to be straightened up. We end up eating around 7pm, when thats done, I have to get my niece and nephew bathed, dressed and ready for bed, make sure my boys get showered and ready for bed, then its finally my turn to get showered and ready for bed and by then between the yelling at the boys and my niece and nephew, I don't get to bed until 11pm, and then its back up to do it all over again. I'm basically EXHAUSTED!! Don't get me wrong, my husband helps a little bit, but he could definitely improve on that a lot more! I guess I just needed to get all that off my chest, because I really don't know what to do! I have no life now. I think that maybe I shouldn't of taken the job, even though the money is really nice, I just had more time and wasn't so grouchy and tired before, and on the other hand, I think that if I just hold out, my brothers kids will be gone soon, and then it might not be so bad. I just wish someone could tell me what to do and make my life so much easier. I also wish I had a husband who would put a lot more effort in helping out more to make my load a lot lighter instead of bitching about me being so grouchy all the time and how I never want to have sex with him. Like thats what I really want to do after such a long exhausting day! I also hate the fact that my boys think that all I want to do is yell at them everyday because I just want some peace and quiet instead of being the ref. for their fights. I don't know anymore...I feel like when I'm working full time I'm missing out on a lot of things that they do at school, like award ceremonies, parties, and field trips. I hate the fact that when they ask if I can come, I have to tell them no because I have to work. Then when I'm at home all the time, I feel alone and useless. So thats why I guess I've fallen into this depression. Sometimes I just wish life was a little less complicated and things would just come more easily.

BAD DAY!!!!!

Well everything at work had been going OK until today! For some unknown reason the doctor that I work with decided to really rude to me after lunch and for the life of me can't figure out why! I was sitting at the front desk (we didn't have patients this afternoon) and she comes in and signed some of her records or whatever, and then she turns arounds and says "there, I just gave you some work to do" in a very snotty tone. What really pisses me off, is that she directed this at me instead of the other 5 people sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Also, if she had been up there 5 minutes prior to her rude comment, I filed all the records that needed to be filed and inserted paperwork for tomorrow's exams! These are the days that you just want to knock someone out! I already told my husband that if everyday ends up like this one, I won't be there much longer! That is one of the things I said during the interview that I will not be treated with disrespect. I don't think anyone should have to go to work and be miserable everyday! Everyone knows I won't!!!!!!