Not Good!

Well don't shoot me, but I started smoking again. It was a lot harder to stay good than I thought! So my new plan is, I'm still not smoking as much as I was, I'm thinking with this new job, that I won't be able to smoke at all during the day, and hopefully with the new pay, I can save up to go get the shot. Its about $300, but they say you absolutely have no urges to smoke what so ever! So don't give up on me just yet, I do plan on being a non smoker, its just not going to happen as quickly as I was hoping it to!!! Bad Bad Tyani!!!!

Can my life get any worse???

Ok...its Easter and today should be a wonderful FAMILY day. Well again not for my husband! It started out OK, the kids got their Easter baskets and everyone was happy with what they got. So I'm thinking to myself that today is going to be a pretty good day. Then I overheard my husband on the phone with his buddy saying that he would help him work on his car or bike or whatever he needed help fixing. I then said to him, when are going to spend time with your family? Not yelling or anything! Then he justs bites my head off and says that he needs to make money and thats why he's always working in his shop. That's fine that you think you need to make money ALL the time, buts its Easter, can't you take ONE day off to spend with us?! Then he storms off like usual! So then I decided to lay it all out! I proceeded to tell him that basically our marriage is falling apart because of this house, track and his shop. He always has people over and is always hanging out with them either in the shop or on the track. So then I said, so I guess I'll start paying you every time I would like to spend time with you, because he is SOOOOOO worried about making money all the time. If this house was too expensive for us to live, then he should've never gotten it! Then he says that he needs money for everytime I ask him for some. That just PISSED me off to no point. I NEVER ask him for money, unless its for groceries, gas, just the essentials! I'm not a shopper and don't just spend money whenever I get the chance. I just couldn't believe that those words came out of his mouth. Never the less, I'm not sure if any of this conversation we had is going to help in any way, because we've had it soooo many times before and it never sinks into his head. We've never been rich and personally I would rather have his time than his money! I just wish he could understand that! So I'm just having a very stressful life lately and its really hurting my confidence in quitting smoking, just because that's what I've always relied on in stressful times. We'll see.....hopefully he'll take what I've said to heart because if he doesn't change some things, I'm not sure how long our marriage is going to last!!

bad day already...

Well this day started out terrible. First of all my BIL was here at 7:30 am and that didn't bother me except my husband makes too much noise when he's getting up and I am so not a morning person. Then I find out that my BIL got me breakfast, and my husband didn't even tell me about it. Thanks a lot! So basically I have been by myself all day! Jay came in and said Hi just because he was hungry and was fixing lunch. So its not like he came in just to see me! What a butt. So anyways, I went to the new Family Dollar store in my little town and got my niece and MIL their birthday presents. Now I am just hanging out by myself!!

Issues...

You know I get a long really great with my husband most of the time, but lately he's making it really hard! Everyday its the same old thing! He's always in his shop and there are always people over. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind him hanging out with his friends, but come on, every day!!!
I guess it just feels like he puts his friends and his shop before his family. Just like I already heard that he'll have a bunch of people over tomorrow to ride 4 wheelers on our track in the backyard. Just once I would love to have a weekend just to us....no working in the shop, hanging with friends, or riding 4 wheelers....I really don't think I am asking for that much! But I guess to him its asking for way tooooo much because it never happens!
And what really pisses me off about the GUYS riding is that guess who gets stuck watching all the kids? ME!! I guess it wouldn't be so bad if they asked if I was willing to watch them or asked if I had anything planned, but no! Everybody just comes over and pretty much just leaves the kids for me to take care of! So hopefully I won't have to be a royal bitch tomorrow, but usually I am because I just would like a peaceful weekend without EVERYBODY at my house! I'll keep you updated on how tomorrow goes!! Goodnight!!!

I got a job!!

Well today I found out that I got the dental job on the AFB that I've wanted for about a year now! I was kind of iffy on if I was going to get it or not after the interview yesterday. He told me that he still had 4 more people to interview after me, and I guess its always natural to think that somebody's going to be better than you, but it finally worked out to my benefit! I'm so excited to get started and the projected date to start will be April 19th or the 23rd! So wish me luck! Its going to be hard getting up early again, but guess I'll have to get use to it!!

how's she doing?

Well if anybody's wondering about the smoking situation...its going pretty good! I have slipped up a few times, but I still think I am doing very well. Like I told my SIL Jenn, I look at it like this...I've been smoking for about 10 years, and about 10 cigs a day. So when I only slip up and smoke once in a week, thats still doing very well! I'm not perfect and I knew it was going to hard, and I'm not giving up and not letting a few oopps get me discouraged!! So just keep supporting me even when I do wrong! Please!! Thanks a bunch!!!

What a day...

Well basically it all started yesterday! I woke up just feeling awful! My head hurts, teeth hurt, and my nose is so runny and stuffy at the same time. So I self medicated myself hoping to feel better today..nope! Then I had to go and get my car inspected. Get to my husbands work and get my car hooked up to the computer do hicky and it won't read. So my husband is calling around to see why, and they all suggest go somewhere else and try a different machine. Now this wouldn't be so bad of a situation except for the fact that I have a job interview and they will not let me on the base with an expired inspection sticker. So now I have to drive my BIL's truck which I am so uncomfortable in because I'm soooo short and use to my little car. So anyways, I made it through that and the interview went well considering how the day was already going. So hopefully I will hear from them soon! Now I am ready to self medicate myself some more so I can go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow because I will be surrounded by hundreds of screaming children tomorrow at work!!